Study Abroad Stories

Learning to Live

ARTI PATEL, University of Maryland, College Park

"Well, shit."

My first thoughts after getting off the plane at Copenhagen National Airport back in January. What was I thinking when I decided to leave the world that was known to me for a place where most people could not even identify on a map? Denmark? Was I really ready for what was coming my way? Either way, I was in Denmark and in times when you do not really know what to do, you do what you can. In the end, I got what I was looking for and am now ready yet reluctant to leave this beautiful country with a more genuine attitude on life and living.

In the first week of our program, Jette Nygaard, the Director of Student Services and Housing, gave us an introduction speech of the culture shock we would be experiencing. She claimed that there were four personalities that a student could become as a result of culture shock. These four types include: the Pessimist, the Withdrawal Guy, the Native Guy, and the "Focus on Change" Guy.  

The Pessimist is the type of person who becomes cynical over the little inconsistencies that Denmark has in comparison to his home country. This person may get irritated at how most stores are closed on Sundays or the fickleness of the weather here. He may also question why everyone takes their time and notices that people generally do not rush, which is different than what he is used to back home. Instead of embracing how life actually is, this person wallows in his gloom. I feel that this type of person should be avoided, but at the same time, should be allowed (in small quantities, of course).

It is only human to get irritated at times. It's just our way of dealing with frustration. Too much of it is obviously unhealthy and interferes with the overall experience but I remember also getting frustrated at having to pay the equivalent of eight USD for water at a restaurant. I got water because I thought it was free and cheaper than soda! You live and learn and while you live, sometimes you get frustrated.  

The second personality is the Withdrawal Guy. This person turns himself off to Danish culture.   Rather than going out and having a beer with the family or taking a stroll on Stroget, this person is sitting in the basement of DIS frantically typing away to his friends back home. By emailing and chatting online with his friends, the Withdrawal Guy tries to enjoy the same experiences as his friends back home. I remember when I stepped off the plane, I did not know a soul. I looked for familiarity everywhere and only found it on a computer screen in the basement of DIS.

This was, of course, only the first few days of the program and I needed the comfort of the words of my wise sister or the jokes and laughs of my entertaining friend. I do not regret being this person for the first couple days because I had to adjust to not being able to have those perks anymore. I would regret, however, being that person still today at the end of the program.

The Native Guy is the third character to be avoided. This is the person who became a Dane the second he stepped off the plane. You might find this person sporting the latest Danish fashions that he sees on the street or screaming, "Denmark is beautiful, the people are beautiful, the culture is beautiful, the fashion is beautiful, the language is beautiful." He must have gone to Christiania one too many times if he is claiming the last one. I have to admit that in the beginning I was taken back by the little socialistic wonders of Denmark. I was amazed by the free health care and environmentally sound standards that Danes live by. I think it is only natural to see and appreciate and call home over the things you really like about Denmark.

The final personality is the "Focus on Change" Guy. This person compares and amplifies the differences between Denmark and his home country. The Barressos are kind of like Starbucks except the music is different or the fashion here is trendy yet more edgy than back home. Nothing just is, everything has to be compared and evaluated and labeled better or worse. I think when one is taken out of his own cultural context, the only thing he can do is compare. While he appreciates the new culture at the same time, I think it is hard not to compare.

This habit begins to wear off as we live here longer, but in the beginning, it is difficult not make comparisons. We only know our own bubble of comfort back home so when presented with a new societal context, our minds go wild at the "differences" and with a taste of the difference we experience, we are only left eager to learn more about the culture.

I think that in the beginning of the semester, these four personalities were once all a side of me at some point in time. I am glad I did not embody or inflate these personalities into who I am today but at the same time, I think it is necessary to have a little taste of each personality in order to really appreciate what a cultural experience has to offer. It is important to experience these characters so that after you are done with them, you can really enjoy Danish life and culture and learn a lot about yourself and how you think and act. I think that after having felt each personality, I learned to just live, relax, and enjoy the ride. I have gained a lot of insight and think that I have progressively changed by taking my time and savoring moments as well as enjoying a little Danish "hygge" now and then.

I do not think I am the only one when I say that studying abroad changes a person. Ultimately, and hopefully, in a positive way. When you are placed in an environment that is outside of what you know, you learn things about yourself that were perhaps never once considered. A confidence is gained by living outside of your "realm of comfort" because you finally get to do things on your own without your mother asking if you are eating well or your father warning you to be careful at night.  

I come from a rather large family back home and it was really hard for me to leave them because they are my world. Their worries are sincere and reassuring but because there is an ocean and six hours between us, my folks can not check up on me and call me at their convenience. It is up to me to take control of my life. From being away from my family for so long, I've learned that proximity can not measure love. I think I have grown closer with my family because I know now how much they do for me and the opportunities they give me by allowing me to study in a foreign country. I can only hope that every student who studies abroad can walk away from this experience with such a reassuring feeling.